There seems to be a lot of interest in what’s going to be with Shpilkes and Nemo while we’re gone. True, most of the interest is from Tzvi Bider. Okay, all of the interest is from Tzvi Bider. Still, I aim to please. Like everything else, we’ve given careful consideration and solicited advice. Rejected suggestions include:

• Take them with us, where they can study under the tutelage of the famed street cats of Jerusalem. (Ours are pampered, indoor American cats. They would stand no chance. And what if they get Jerusalem Syndrome and think they’re some sort of cat messiahs? We can’t take that chance.)

• Let them stay at home with our renter. (We’re already asking him for flexibility in certain areas. Watching our high-maintenance cats, including giving Nemo his allergy (!) shot is just too much. We’d have to pay him to stay here.)

• A return to the Albin’s house. (Rejected by the Albins.)

• Move them in with the Biders. (Actually, this hasn’t really been rejected. I’m still pushing for it.)

Instead, it looks like we are going to hire our vet’s assistant to take the cats. The sad thing is that he’ll probably take better care of them than we do. Here, I’m talking mostly about Nemo, who – yes, it is true – has allergies. I’m really embarrassed to admit this, but we take our cat to a pet dermatologist. I never thought I’d be that person. He was getting bare spots, with nasty sores. We had no choice. Really, we didn’t. Stop looking at me like that!

It would be poetic if Nemo were allergic to us; even more so if to himself. But, no. He’s allergic to a whole laundry list of stuff: wool, various kinds of pollen, dust mites, minding his own business…

So Nemo has to get shpritzed with a steroid spray, which he hates. He has to take pills, which he hates even more. And every few weeks, he gets a shot. Which he hates.

But he is very sweet.

So, the cats will be fine. Do you feel better now?