Category Archives: Getting ready

Surprising psak

I recently got answers to a few sheilos (Jewish law questions) I asked our Rav (rabbi) relating to our trip. The principal one was how many days of Yom Tov we should keep when we’re in Israel.

[Background explanation, for those who need it: Part or all of any given Jewish holiday may consist of “Yom Tov” (Heb.) or “Yontiff” (Yiddish), which are treated essentially like Shabbos in that we don’t do any “work” (a poor translation, but that’s another topic). The remaining days of the holiday are “chol hamoyed,” with relatively minor restrictions on “work”-type activities. For reasons that are a little too involved for even one of my digressions, in Israel one generally keeps just one day of Yom Tov, as specified in the written Torah, while outside of Israel one keeps two. For example, the Torah designates the 15th of Nisan as the first day of Passover, when we do no “work,” and have a seder. In America, we keep two straight “workless” days and have two sederim. In Israel, there is one initial “workless” day and one seder.]

The question of whether to keep one day of Yom Tov or two actually turns not on where you are, but where you live. People from abroad visiting Israel still keep two days, even though they’re in Israel. (People from Israel visiting abroad still keep one day, although it is more complicated because they can’t openly do “work” so as to avoid confusing people.) When students from abroad go to learn in Israel, even though they live there the entire year (or more), they still keep two days, because their homes are still abroad.

So, I was surprised to learn that we will keep one day of Yom Tov in Israel. I believe it has to do with the fact that our entire family is going there, which is apparently more significant than the fact that we intend to return. (Disclaimer: do not rely on this blog for any halacha l’ma’aseh! CYLOR!)

I can’t totally explain why this utterly delights me. It isn’t like I dislike the second day of Yom Tov – quite the contrary. I guess it makes it feel more like we’re going to be living in Israel.

It’s also just a major change to the rhythm of our Jewish life – another way that things will be different. Disruptions to the “normal” way we do things are an opportunity to change ourselves. They’re a reminder not to get complacent. This is the point of the Jewish calendar altogether – the “disruption” created by holidays and other times of note are supposed to be tools for growth. Maybe I’m excited that we’re going to get even more “disruption,” and thus even more opportunity for growth.

Or maybe I just want more chol hamoyed.

Cat update

For those of you waiting breathlessly for news of our cats, there is an update. The vet’s assistant who was going to take them has had a change of circumstance, and can no longer do so. Another vet’s assistant may be willing to take Nemo (who needs the extra maintenance), but not both.

Yes, it looks like our cats will be going to separate homes.

I know this is traumatic news, and I’m sorry to spring it on you like this. We’re all just going to have to find a way to get through it.

Anyway, this means we’re back to looking for a foster home for Shpilkes. On the upside, he’s the low-maintenance one. No medications or special needs. He is not so shy, and loves to play. Not really a cuddler, though. He’s also magnificently beautiful. And knows it. And would prefer that you know it as well. Full disclosure: he does have his front claws (we would spring for occasional clipping), and also has a bad habit of chewing on the cord you use to pull up blinds. We keep ours tucked up out of reach.

If you know of any leads, please let me know.

Should we be concerned?

No apartment prospects currently in sight, and our realtor has not been returning my emails or phone calls…

On the other hand, we were talking on Shabbos to a friend who is moving her family to Jerusalem next month… and has no apartment yet (and is not concerned)! We were so excited to hear it that we nearly high-fived in front of her.

Seriously, by Israeli standards, we are far from late. Everything will be okay, IY”H (G-d willing).

 

Okay, the cats.

There seems to be a lot of interest in what’s going to be with Shpilkes and Nemo while we’re gone. True, most of the interest is from Tzvi Bider. Okay, all of the interest is from Tzvi Bider. Still, I aim to please. Like everything else, we’ve given careful consideration and solicited advice. Rejected suggestions include:

  • Take them with us, where they can study under the tutelage of the famed street cats of Jerusalem. (Ours are pampered, indoor American cats. They would stand no chance. And what if they get Jerusalem Syndrome and think they’re some sort of cat messiahs? We can’t take that chance.)
  • Let them stay at home with our renter. (We’re already asking him for flexibility in certain areas. Watching our high-maintenance cats, including giving Nemo his allergy (!) shot is just too much. We’d have to pay him to stay here.)
  • A return to the Albin’s house. (Rejected by the Albins.)
  • Move them in with the Biders. (Actually, this hasn’t really been rejected. I’m still pushing for it.)

Instead, it looks like we are going to hire our vet’s assistant to take the cats. The sad thing is that he’ll probably take better care of them than we do. Here, I’m talking mostly about Nemo, who – yes, it is true – has allergies. I’m really embarrassed to admit this, but we take our cat to a pet dermatologist. I never thought I’d be that person. He was getting bare spots, with nasty sores. We had no choice. Really, we didn’t. Stop looking at me like that!

It would be poetic if Nemo were allergic to us; even more so if to himself. But, no. He’s allergic to a whole laundry list of stuff: wool, various kinds of pollen, dust mites, minding his own business…

So Nemo has to get shpritzed with a steroid spray, which he hates. He has to take pills, which he hates even more. And every few weeks, he gets a shot. Which he hates.

But he is very sweet.

So, the cats will be fine. Do you feel better now?

Where are the kids going to school?

Assuming we find a place in the Old City, as we hope, it appears the boys will go to Yeshivat Aderet Eliyahu, more commonly known as “Zilberman’s.” It will be entirely in Hebrew, which will certainly be a challenge for them. But there are enough Anglos around to help ease the transition, we hope. We’ve been told by others who went through this that it takes anywhere from 6 weeks to a few months, and then the kids are sufficiently proficient in Hebrew to do fine. The bigger challenge for us is that none of the administrators speak English, so Debbie & I won’t be able to communicate with them so easily.

This is an area where the difference between the American mindset and the Israeli one is dramatic. We had an intermediary mention our situation to someone at Zliberman’s, and their response was essentially, “fine, we’ll expect them.” I can only imagine what you would have to do, and how long in advance, were the direction reversed.

Where are we going to live?

We thought long and hard, and spoke with a lot of people, while deciding where to live.

Lots of people mentioned Har Nof, which is highly Anglo, has good school options, and has really good learning opportunities for Debbie. We also already have friends living there.

Another popular suggestion was Ramat Eshkol/Maalot Dafna. Many of our friends here went to Ohr Somayach in the neighborhood, and so can tell us a lot about it. Again, there’s a heavy Anglo presence, and plentiful apartments as young families are frequently moving in and out.

Some people even suggested living in Ramat Bet Shemesh, and commuting to Jerusalem, because of the extremely high concentration of Americans there and good school options. We also have friends there (hi, Gerald & Rachel!).

To make our decision, we had to focus on our priorities for this trip. We’re not planning it as a precursor to aliya (moving permanently to Israel), nor are we focused on trying to experience “Israel qua Israel.” Our goal is growth as a family. We want to grow in Torah and in our spiritual foundations, and we want to grow as a family. Living a distance from where I’ll be learning would mean that I would see less of the family and, just as importantly, they would see less of me doing what I’m taking the time to do.

With all of this in mind, we’ve decided that we want to try to live in the Rova (the Jewish Quarter, in the Old City). I can be home for meals, and the boys will see me often in the yeshiva, and even learn with me there on Shabbos. There are plenty of Anglos in the Rova as well, particularly the Bircas HaTorah community itself, and we already have friends who live there. The inevitable struggles the boys will have at first in school will, we hope, be mitigated by the fact that both Debbie and I will be close by. Not to mention that we’ll be living in the spiritual center of the world. Also, when else will we have the chance to live in the Old City?

On the downside, it isn’t easy getting in & out of the Rova; shopping there can be a bit limited; it is something of a “bubble,” disconnected from the “typical” Israel experience; we’ll have to navigate the hordes of tourists; and we’re probably looking at an even smaller place to live.

But, on balance, we feel that the positives far outweigh the negatives, and we’re really excited about the choice. Now we just have to find an apartment! We have a broker looking, but if you know of anything…

Why are we going to Israel?

Okay, I feel like this is the first real, substantive post on here. Rubber-hits-the-road time. Looks like I’m going to answer a relatively simple question with an indefensible detour into a technical discussion of the history of Jewish law. This may portend poorly for this blog…

Neither Debbie nor I grew up as Orthodox Jews. Coming to it as adults, we’ve missed out on a lot of education. In particular, by the time I got interested, I was already working as a lawyer, which doesn’t leave a lot of time for playing catch-up. I squeeze in some classes and chavrusa (one-on-one) learning at night and on weekends, but real progress in Torah study requires the kind of focus and time that only can be done full-time. As much as I’ve tried to do what I can, my skills are still rudimentary. My secular legal training is actually helpful in many ways, but when I’m learning with a chavrusa, our relationship is inevitably more student-to-teacher than peer-to-peer. My goal for the year is to reach peer-to-peer status.

What is so hard about learning Torah? Isn’t it just the first five books of the Bible? You read it, you read some commentaries, and there you are. Right?

When Orthodox Jews talk about “learning Torah,” we almost always mean the Oral Law, i.e., the Talmud. Generally speaking, the Talmud contains: (a) Divine Law that, in our tradition, was received orally together with the Written Law; (b) additional laws enacted rabbinically, pursuant to authority granted by the Torah; and (c) assorted other material, ranging from historical material, to elaborations on the accounts of events described in the Bible, to inspirational stories of tzaddikim (righteous individuals), to health advice.

Originally, the Oral Torah was to remain just that – transmitted in oral form only. But, under Roman persecution, the integrity of its transmission was under threat. About 1800 years ago, it was redacted into the Mishna. Although it was written down, it was recorded in a very terse and cryptic form, the full meaning of which could only be understood by studying it from someone already well versed in it. This preserved the necessity of oral transmission, with the mental acuity it demands and confers. The Mishna turned out to be a little too terse to accomplish its goals, and written commentary on it – called the Gemara – was redacted some 200-300 years later. The Talmud consists of selections of Mishna, followed by the Gemara on that Mishna. There were actually two Talmuds, one redacted in Israel (the Jersusalem Talmud, or Yerushalmi) and one in Babylonia (the Babylonian Talmud, or Bavli). The one that we primarily study today is the Bavli.

What’s so intense about studying Talmud? Although it expanded considerably on the Mishna, the Gemara remains terse and often cryptic. It was designed to deliver a lot of information in a carefully structured way, working on many levels at once. Often, what seems like a fairly straightforward exchange gets tough in a hurry when you apply some analysis. Keeping in mind that they didn’t record stupid questions, you often have to puzzle out what a particular Rabbi had in mind when he asked his question. Wasn’t the answer obvious? Once you realize what he was really asking, the formerly simple answer is now a mystery. You unlock that, and you’re on to another mystery. Nothing is simple. On top of it all, the Talmud never just lists the canons of its own interpretation. You often have to figure them out from the recorded exchanges themselves. Imagine knowing nothing about baseball,then listening to the radio account of a baseball game, and trying to infer the rules from that alone. Sometimes learning Talmud is like that.

On top of this, the Mishna is in Hebrew and the Gemara is (mostly) in Aramaic. I’ve got a little of the former, and virtually none of the later. Fortunately, there are lots of stock words that get used over and over, so there’s not a huge vocabulary to learn, but still… For those of you who have some familiarity with Hebrew, you’ll also appreciate the extra degree of difficulty in that there are no nekudot (vowels) provided. Oh, and did I mention that the essential commentaries of Rashi and Tosafos – which are printed right there on the page of Talmud – are written in a different script that you also have to know cold?

After years of plugging away in my spare time, I can now do some of this. But I have a long way to go. I don’t know that I would ever get there without doing something like this, taking the time to work at it full-time for a time.

But this trip is not (I hope) just about me. For Debbie… well, I don’t want to put words into her mouth, and I hope she’s also going to blog here, so I leave it to her to say what she wants. But suffice it to say that being in Israel should present her with plenty of opportunities for her own spiritual and intellectual growth. For the kids, it is a chance to internalize our commitment to learning Torah. We can talk all we like about how important it is, but that won’t compare to them seeing their father leave work and take the family across the globe to do it. They also get a major boost to their education, immersing in Hebrew and an entire country that lives on a Jewish calendar. I also hope it will form the foundation of their lifelong connection to Eretz Yisrael (the Land of Israel). Strengthening our connection to the people, language, and land is something of great value to Debbie and me, too.

We’ve been talking for years about doing this, and we’re enormously grateful that we have the opportunity to do it now. I’m especially grateful to my firm for being amazingly understanding — more about that in future posts, I expect. If you made it this far, thanks for reading, and I hope this made things a little bit more clear.

FAQ

Welcome to our blog!

We get a lot of questions about our upcoming trip. Here are some of the most frequent:

  • When are you leaving?
  • Do  you know where you’ll be living? Do you have an apartment yet?
  • Where will your kids go to school? Will it be in English?
  • Why are you going to Israel for a year?
  • What are you going to do in Israel?
  • Dan’s firm is letting him do this?
  • Are you renting out your house?
  • What are you going to do with your cars? Can I have one?
  • You realize that you’re crazy to leave for Israel in August, when you’re expecting in June, right?

I hope to answer most, if not all, of these over the next few posts.